Notes to myself: Words and Conversations

Events in recent past have led me to question some of my current mental models on conversation and usage of words.
I had to conduct few difficult conversations with individuals. Also some quips I made were not well received. I have considered retorts and sarcasm to be integral part of conversations.

Words if used in an inopportune manner may be used to misguide, incite hatred, cause hurt or even to filibuster and wash out an entire parliament session.

I required clarity around a few constructs

• What to speak
• What not to speak 
• How to speak it

These are not new questions. Some directions came from the readings:

सत्यं ब्रूयात्  प्रियं ब्रूयात्नब्रूयात्  सत्यमप्रियं
प्रियं च नानृतं ब्रूयात्   एष धर्मः सनातनः

Speak the truth which is pleasant. Do not speak the truth that is undesirable. Never speak untruth, which might be pleasant.This is the path of eternal morality. 

To narrate how things happened is not truth

Some of directions came from sages and practitioners. Kabir in his couplets says:

बोली तो अनमोल है, जो कोई जाने बोल |

हृदय तराजू तोल के, तब मुख बहार खोल ||

Words are priceless for those who know how to use it. They should be weighted inside carefully and then should be spoken out.

मधुर वचन है औषधि, कुटिल वचन है तीर |

श्रवन द्वार है संचरे, साले सकल सरीर ||

Pleasurable words are like medicine and harsh words are like arrow. It enters through the gates of ears and causes distress to the whole body .

While it will take more practice to resolve "what and how" part of the question. From the readings it is clear that I need to exercise more discretion on "what not to speak" part first. We derive pleasure from witty retort as it makes conversation lively and entertaining. The discretion part is that it  should not hurt others.


© Ratish
16 Aug